Let me tell you a story...

You see, when my kids were teens, things got very serious with one of them. Our family was in chaos and we were in denial of just how bad things were.

It happened gradually. (Maybe you can identify with this.) One day things were okay. Yes, there were some concerning behaviors, but...

He was a younger teen, going through those adolescent changes. He had some learning challenges. Surely we could attribute those behaviors to normal development, right? And he was our first-born. What did we know?

Time marched on, and we adjusted, sort of, to increasingly disturbing behaviors — while our anxiety ramped up.

And then we woke up one day and asked ourselves, "How did we get here?"

Deer in the headlights. Frozen in place with fear. I'm not proud of my ignorance and denial back then.

I was desperate, depressed and experiencing a fear I never could have imagined or predicted. How could this be happening to us?

Well, one day reality hit like a sucker punch. The dream of what his life would look like had disintegrated. Out of options, we realized we had to make a very, very difficult decision.

Plain and simple, we owed it to him.

We owed it to him to provide a way out of the hole he'd fallen into (and that we'd fallen into, too.)

It would take time — and interventions — for us to understand how we had contributed to it.

It would also take time for us to accept that the carefully constructed plan we had for his life was not a priority any more. There was so much work to be done.

A month in a wilderness program was followed by two years at a unique boarding school — Hyde School. Hyde was for our child, and for us.

The process focused on developing the student's character and leadership abilities. The parallel program for us, the parents, challenged us to work on our own character and to lead with values:

* Truth Over Harmony

* Principles Over Rules

* Attitude Over Aptitude

* Set High Expectations and Let Go of Outcomes

* Value Success and Failure

* and 5 more of Hyde's 10 Priorities of Effective Parenting.

I drank the Kool-Aid. And I'm forever grateful I did.

(Truthfully, I think I'd been searching for a program and community like this my whole life. For me.)

I won't leave you in suspense; there was a happy ending to my son's story.

And for me it was the beginning of a journey that changed everything. It was the first time I examined myself in a way that therapy had never done.

I learned to question my motivation; to speak my feelings without pointing fingers; to explore my own potential; to lead by example; to listen and to hear; to create and follow through on boundaries, even when — especially when — it felt hard and I was scared to do it.

As change gradually happened, I became a better parent. A parent who could speak to my child's head, heart, and soul; to his dreams, fears, and the deeper needs he didn't yet have words for.

It led me to graduate from a prestigious life coaching program, leave teaching, and launch my practice.

It's a calling, and I knew from the start I would support parents of teens and young adults. (I definitely speak "parent" much better than "teen.")

I've been at it for 17+ years and can't imagine doing anything else (except writing more books).

This work changes lives, families, and future generations. I know because I've lived it.

There's nothing more important to me than sharing my experiences and learning with you, so you can see results much faster than I did.

You can't control everything; however, you are not powerless. I want you to feel in your heart and gut there are always possibilities for change in your family. I did it, and so can you.

And this is how the Fern Weis Letter was born.